Unspoken Anxieties Every New Leader Faces in Silence, its normal
I had just returned to work after dropping my son off for his first semester at Morehouse College, it was a great feeling to have my son attend such a prestigious historically black college. The only thing on my mind was I hope my son gets off to a good start and has a successful first semester as this was all new to him. As I exited the elevator on the 18th floor one of the HR business partners said hello and congratulations. I assumed she was referring to my son being a first semester freshman at a HBCU. As I reached my office, I had a message to see my manager. When I met with my boss, he informed me that I was being promoted from manager to Sr. Director of the Americas region. Wow! What an honor. I was both excited and full of fear at the same time. Much like my son who was experiencing a life changing first, so was I. Stepping into a leadership role for the first time is often celebrated as a career milestone. But behind the scenes, many new leaders wrestle with quiet fears, unspoken doubts, and challenges that they are not equipped to handle such a big responsibility. Most new leaders are often afraid and won’t say out loud exactly what needs to be addressed that would help them thrive and avoid becoming ineffective or a toxic leader.
From Peer to Boss: The Awkward Transition
One of the hardest shifts for a first-time leader is the transition from colleague to supervisor. Which was what I was experiencing. I took a few days off as a team member to take my son to college only to return as the team leader of my peers. In this position the new leader worries about how they’ll be perceived by peers-turned-direct reports. They fear damaging friendships or coming across as power-hungry. The pressure to prove leadership legitimacy can push new managers to overcompensate with rigidity, avoid difficult conversations, or, worse, micromanage, which I discussed in my earlier blog.
Imposter Syndrome in a New Role
It’s also common for new leaders to feel like imposters, questioning whether they belong or are truly qualified. This internal narrative can cause new leaders to second-guess decisions, avoid confrontation, or play it safe rather than lead boldly. Which is what helped them get the promotion in the first place. Over time, this self-doubt can erode confidence and clarity in their teams.
There is No Rulebook?
Unlike technical roles, leadership often lacks a clear manual. New leaders find themselves managing ‘people’ problems’ with little preparation. They’re unsure how to navigate interpersonal tension, inspire performance, or hold someone accountable without damaging rapport. Many wish someone would just give them a roadmap.
What New Leaders Won’t Say Out Loud
Many first-time leaders silently carry a storm of questions: ‘I don’t know how to give tough feedback.’ ‘How do I balance being nice with being respected?’ ‘Am I faking this entire thing?’ These worries aren’t a sign of failure, they’re normal. But if left unaddressed, they can fester into avoidance, control issues, or burnout. For me I was managing the fact that I was the team member my peers came to for help with work and personal issues, now I was the boss, yikes.
What Organizations Can Do to Help
Organizations play a crucial role in shaping leadership success. Without intentional support, new leaders are left to figure it out alone, and mistakes become costly. Here’s how companies can help:
- First, all new leaders should be required to attend a leadership orientation that provides basic leadership skills and orientation to leadership systems before their role is announced to the team.
- Second, organizations should assign mentors to model leadership beyond performance metrics. Offer ‘First 90-Day’ playbooks or learning labs to provide real-time guidance. Train new leaders in emotional intelligence, feedback conversations, and accountability with empathy.
- Next, create safe spaces for reflection, peer coaching, professional coaching and leadership debriefs.
Final Reflection
The fears of first-time leaders aren’t signs of weakness; they’re signals of growth and readiness. Which is the responsibility of the organization to address. When organizations acknowledge these unspoken fears and build the right scaffolding, they don’t just develop leaders, they protect culture. Let’s stop pretending leaders are born ready and start giving them the tools they need to become great leaders.
Click here to schedule a free 30-minute discovery discussion regarding how I can help your organizations new leaders thrive in your organization.
About Dr. Ollie G. Barnes III
Dr. Ollie G. Barnes III is an organizational performance consultant, keynote speaker, and author of Diagnosing Toxic Leadership: Understanding the Connection Between Personality Disorders and Toxic Leader Behaviors. As the founder of Impact Performance Consultants, he brings over 25 years of experience helping organizations transform workplace culture, improve leadership effectiveness, and build psychologically safe environments. Learn more at ImpactPerformanceConsultants.com